“I feel so disrespected.” With tears streaming down her cheeks, these were the words that came from the mouth of one of my serving crew at work last night. I sat, I listened, & I empathized as she shared how she felt about the way she had been treated. My heart went out to her. Serving is not an easy thing to do. It can be super amazing and super disheartening all in the same night. Though I do believe there are more amazing times than anything.
She then looked at me and said, “Should I just get used to this if I’m going to be in the people and serving industry?” My heart broke at the fact that she would ask this. Not because it was a bad thing to ask, because it was a real valid question, but, because it is never good when you began to mentally expect disappointment.
Once I discerned that she knew I truly cared I look at her & said,
“You can’t ever give people that much control of your thoughts.”
I could tell it hit her & she was listening. So I continue, “The moment you allow people to dictate your emotional state by the way they treat you is the moment you have given up your control over your thoughts, emotions, and actions.”
There are a couple things you have full control over, your beliefs, thoughts, emotions, will, and actions. Giving these up means you have now allowed someone else, or the crowd, to rule your life. That control was meant for you, it is a seat with your name branded on it.
Don’t get me wrong, it hurts when someone disrespects you, belittles you, or speaks to you in a way that is demeaning. When this happens it takes everything within me to hold back my ninja tendency to give them a swift karate chop to their throat. But then, my inner ninja finds his center & reminds my brain, heart, and hands that no one can ever “make” me think or feel anything.
Your thoughts are meant to be controlled by you.
The narrative that plays in your head is subject to the author, you. The video that plays in your brain is subject to the producer, you.
Does it take a lot of intentional effort to not let your mind wander, go down rabbit trails, or have imaginations of unleashing a fury of karate chops? Yes, yes it does. But it’s possible. And, you’re worth it.
Don’t waste mental capacity on thoughts that will only tear you down, don’t give people that much control over you. Use these moments to grow strong, strengthen your resolve, and remind yourself that you are in control of you. Press forward & be intentional to turn your thoughts toward what is good.