When you have grown up in a home where divorce has occurred it is not always easy to have a vision for marriage. At the same time, when you have grown up in a home where your parent didn’t argue in front of you at all or you never saw them struggle through things together, it could cause you to have a faulty vision of marriage.
Two of the most damaging things divorce and, what I call, the “happy front marriage” do are prevent the children of the marriage from learning the extremely necessary skill of fighting and witnessing the commitment of love.
When you go into a relationship without understanding the cost of commitment you have already set yourself up to frustration. Yes, this is why you may avoid serious relationships. But, the reality is it is not only relationships you avoid, there is a deeper issue. At the core of this avoidance is fear.
Learning to deal with your lack of commitment begins with dealing with your fear. Fear of something better. Fear of failure. Fear of it ending up for you as it did with your parents or your friends. But, the truth is the only way to confront this fear head is by doing the very thing it is keeping you from doing, committing!
You see, when you commit wisely you don’t do it blindly. Whether it is a relationship, job, career path, etc. When you commit wisely you have already determined there is a cost and you are willing to do whatever necessary to ensure you can pay it. At the core of this is worth.
Wise commitment moves the heart and mind around the depth of worth it is committing to. And, because the person or thing to which you are committing is of such great value, you are willing to fight for it!
Love is not feeling, it is commitment. Commitment takes work, a lot of it. Sure, you can run all your life, but you better have some good shoes and a lot of money to continually replace them. Either way work is necessary. It takes a lot of work and energy to constantly run.
Stop running and start working. Dig deep, recognize the value of that which you are fighting for. Put your hard had on, get your hands dirty, and strap up your boots. It’s time to work for that which matters.