Emotionally Spent: When You Have Nothing To Give

LoveTank-1Husbands, have you ever felt emotionally tapped? I’m talking about being in a place where you know your wife needs your affection, emotional support, or words of loving affirmation, but you feel like you have nothing.

This happened to me the other day. It’s not always fun.

My wife was struggling a bit and really needed my encouragement. But, as she was asking for encouragement I realized that I too needed encouragement at the moment. We were both physically exhausted. We both just got off work and it was a 13 hour day for me. At the moment I felt emotional spent. She was looking for a deposit into her emotional bank account, but I felt as if I didn’t have any funds to transfer. Read More

Surrender Does Not Mean You Do Nothing

Whit FlagSurrender. What a scary word in our day and culture. So many run from such words because of how it makes them “feel” and the questions it surfaces.

Surrender makes you a loser right? Surrender means you’re weak or incapable of victorious achievement doesn’t it? If you surrender it means you don’t have to do anything right, just sit back and let God do all the work.

If you surrender it means you’re not in control and to not be in control is far too unpredictable. You’re not going to give your control to someone or something else. Not being in control is scary, why would you put yourself in that situation?

These are very real questions and very real feelings, but they are often not true. Just because something is real, does not mean it is true. Read More

Wherever You Are, Be Fully There

eye to eyeWhat do you look for most in a loving relationship? I’m not talking about a surface level relationship with some ‘associate.’ I’m talking about a deeply loving, faithful, heart fully engaged type of relationship. Are you looking for affirming words, loving touches, gifts, money, or security?

When I asked my youth this question they got pretty deep. They shared how they are looking for: loyalty, affirming words, consistency, sincere affection, and trust. These are some pretty solid answers, especially coming from teenagers. How about coming from you? What does your heart long for in a relationship? Read More

Relationships Are Work… And Worth It


Relationships are work, they are an investment. This means they take time to build, effort to grow, and protection to thrive.

It’s funny how we look at our jobs, schooling, a career, or the pursuit of a dream as needing intentional effort, but assume our relationships will just happen. No healthy, thriving relationship just happens, it is invested in. Read More

You Can’t Do Everything

Businessman sinking in heap of documentsHave you ever felt overwhelmed thinking about all the things you could be, should be, or are not doing? Isn’t it one of the most oppressive feelings to be weighed down by?

Let me set you free right now. You can’t do everything. And, you are not meant too!

I know it’s hard to embrace. You look at your life and your mind swirls with all the things you can be doing right now or later. You look at your schedule trying to find out how you can squeeze the most out of every second of your 24 hour gift from God. You constantly wish you had more hours in a day, but you know very well if you did you would fill those hours with a bunch of others activities.

You feel busy, but not productive. You feel tired active, but not effective. You feel tired, but not accomplished.  Read More

You Are Not Everyone Else

Cookie Cutter People

As long as you try to be someone else you will be miserable.

There is nothing wrong with looking at the lives of others and admiring where they are, upholding their characteristics, or affirming their achievements. But, the minute you allow thoughts of comparison to overtake you the shadow of self destruction will seek to overtake you. You were never meant to be them and they were never meant to be you. Read More

What Are You Looking For?


When you walk into a room of people what do you expect to experience? In most cases, you will find what you are looking for.

I often talk with people who enter into rooms with unfamiliar people already preparing themselves to be rejected so they emotionally cower. As a result they enter the room timid, insecure, and hesitant. Or, they enter the arrogant, boastful, and self centered in order to compensate for their fear of being rejected.

When you walk into a room with unfamiliar people you need to know who you are. Refuse to allow the feelings, thoughts, or reactions of people to determine who you will be around them. Of course, you want to be sensitive to your surroundings. Yes, you want to walk humbly and not think to highly of yourself. But, you never, ever, ever, are called to cower before anyone. Read More

Our Journey to Financial Freedom – Pt. 3: Celebration

holding medalOne of the most important elements to any journey is celebration. However, it is often one component so commonly overlooked.

As we began to knock out our debt we began to develop the art of celebration. Going through Dave Ramsey’s process of the Debt Snowball in The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness helped provided a clear strategy to take out the debts from smallest to largest.

In the natural this doesn’t really make sense. I know what you’re thinking, larger debts have larger interest rates so shouldn’t you take out the larger ones first? Theoretically, yes. Practically, no. Why? Read More

Our Journey to Financial Freedom Pt. 2: You’re A Team

Does pursuing our sensing of calling and passions have to be placed on hold in order for us to get out of debt?Freedom - Spouses

This was a very real question my wife and I began to ponder when we made the decision to get out of debt. As we were reading Dave Ramsey’s, The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness, and seeking God’s direction for a specific plan we were sure of three things:

1. We would not remain where we were – it was either dive or thrive, sink or swim. Complacency was not an option.

2. We would not do anything that would strain our marriage – whatever we did needed to intentionally build our marriage.

3. We would not compromise what God called us too and who He called us to be – destiny and integrity would not be lost.

The result was a very real concept that began to flesh out in our marriage like never before, TEAM. Read More

The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side

“The grass is always greener on the other side.”

What a vicious, debilitating, imprisoning, and deceptive thought.green-grass

I’ve realized that it is often because you buy into the deception that the grass is greener on the other side that you never began to look at your own lawn. You see other people’s success and begin to reason with yourself why they deserve it, but you don’t. You see other people’s forward progress and console yourself with how much more gifted they are or how better their situations are than yours.Have you ever thought this in one way or another? Don’t feel bad about yourself, you’re not alone. I’ve struggled with this so many times that it is sickening.

While many of us have fallen prey to this trap you have to refuse to remain there. Let me encourage you with a quick shot of truth, “The grass is greener where you water it and take care of it.” Read More